Jack has been on meds for three days now for a yeast infection. He gets a pill, an eye ointment, and ear drops two times a day.
The pills are not a problem, in fact they're the only part of the medication routine he likes, because they're administered wrapped in a treat. The real problem is the eye ointment.
First he needs to have his eyes flushed with a saline solution because they're still goopy from the infection, and then he gets a half inch line of ointment applied into his eye (or as close as I can get it). Sounds somewhat simple, right? Jack, however, feels this is torture of the worst kind. He’s invoked his rights as per the Geneva Convention, and is protesting this inhumane behavior on my part. Now, as soon as he sees me coming with the bottles of saline and meds in hand, he will run and hide, then run and hide again. This process repeats its self until I’m worn out from chasing him and fall over into an exhausted coma.
After having to practically wrestle him to the ground the first day, I decided there had to be a better way. So..
Day two I decided to take the indirect approach. I waited for him to take his nap, and then ever so gently washed out his eyes and put in the ointment. It went very well. It was less stress for the both of us, he didn't struggle, and went right back to sleep when I was done. Yay! I'd found a method that worked, right? Right?!?
We're now on day three, and Jack is on to me. I fed him his breakfast this morning, after which he goes outside to potty, and then usually settles in for a leisurely three hour nap on his chair. After he came in from outside, I left him alone for awhile so he could settle on into his nap, and after about an hour went to give him the ointment.
Wait, Jack's not on his chair... Where is he?
After a short search I found him curled up in his crate, his nose pressed into the far corner where I couldn't possibly reach him.
I'm a patient person though, I knew I could wait him out, and that eventually he'd turn around and put his face toward the crate opening. Every time I got up to get coffee I’d wander past his crate to see if he’d turned around yet, and eventually he did.
However, I'm not as stealthy as I'd like to be. He heard me coming, opened one eye, and immediately put his nose up into the air pointing towards the ceiling of the crate; putting his eyes once again out of my reach.
I looked at his posture, nose in the air, eyes closed tightly, and thought, “My dog is snubbing me!!”
He sat like that for awhile, unmoving while I tried everything in my bag of tricks to get him to look at me.
“Jack, kisses?” Kissy, kissy noises… Nothing
“Wanna treat, poopy dog?” Shake, shake of the treat box… Nope.
“Come on, give me a kiss.” More kissy noises… still nada.
I scowled at him, but as his eyes were still closed in anticipation of me trying to stick crap in them, it was less than effective. I’m sure if he’d seen how much distress he was causing me, he’d have melted into a little puddle at my feet and begged me to medicate him, but as it was, we were still at an impasse.
Then I remembered the new doggie sausage I’d purchased just yesterday, in anticipation of having to change his diet as per his new vets recommendation. I popped into the kitchen and cut a slice up into treat sized chunks, then went back to take up my post at the door of his crate.
Jack had not moved. He was still sitting nose up, eyes tightly closed, pretending he’d been adopted by some other, nicer, lady.
I pulled a chunk of sausage out of my pocket and waved it in front of his nose. He took a sniff. Another wave, an eye popped open and regarded me disdainfully. One more flourish and I had him. He put his face down to gobble the new treat, and grudgingly let me torture him while I stuffed his face.
Score another one for the evil lady. I only wonder what he has in store for me tomorrow, now that he’s on to me.