I'm sorry, but my x-ray vision was not functioning properly this morning, and I couldn’t see your face through the roof of your vehicle while I stood at the crosswalk in front of my daughter’s school. Due to this inopportune malfunction in my visual processing, I was unable to tell if you saw me waiting there or not, so I decided to let you pass through the intersection before I crossed the street.
In retrospect, I now understand that your frantic arm waving was meant to convey your reassurance that I could indeed cross safely. However, the fact that you were talking on your cell phone at the time, as well as completely blocking the cross walk with the front end of your car, seemed to negate any comfort the gesture was meant to express.
Perhaps some other day, when I am a shade stupider, or maybe even suicidal, I will make the journey in front of your two-thousand pound Viagra substitute. Today though, I didn’t crate the puppy before I left the house, and I forgot to turn the coffee pot off, so I really needed to get home to take care of those things. A detour to the hospital might have been a touch inconvenient.
In closing, let me say that I appreciate you taking the time to roll down your window and express your concern over my mental health, and visual acuity. I hope you know that the feeling is most heartily returned. Also, I hope that you take your own advice, and that you and your wife have a most satisfying romantic interlude together tonight as well.