Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dear Silver Sports Car Driver,

I'm sorry, but my x-ray vision was not functioning properly this morning, and I couldn’t see your face through the roof of your vehicle while I stood at the crosswalk in front of my daughter’s school.  Due to this inopportune malfunction in my visual processing, I was unable to tell if you saw me waiting there or not, so I decided to let you pass through the intersection before I crossed the street.

In retrospect, I now understand that your frantic arm waving was meant to convey your reassurance that I could indeed cross safely. However, the fact that you were talking on your cell phone at the time, as well as completely blocking the cross walk with the front end of your car, seemed to negate any comfort the gesture was meant to express.

Perhaps some other day, when I am a shade stupider, or maybe even suicidal, I will make the journey in front of your two-thousand pound Viagra substitute.  Today though, I didn’t crate the puppy before I left the house, and I forgot to turn the coffee pot off, so I really needed to get home to take care of those things.  A detour to the hospital might have been a touch inconvenient.

In closing, let me say that I appreciate you taking the time to roll down your window and express your concern over my mental health, and visual acuity.  I hope you know that the feeling is most heartily returned.  Also, I hope that you take your own advice, and that you and your wife have a most satisfying romantic interlude together tonight as well.

Best regards,


Sunday, January 17, 2010

Google It!


Uncle George (HI Uncle George!  *waves* ) hit me up on facebook this morning and wondered why I hadn’t updated in awhile.  Honestly, I blog in spurts.  Sometimes I have a lot to say, other times I just don’t feel very interesting so I spare you all of the boring details of my life. 

Most of the time I don’t think that anyone actually reads my blog unless I force them, so to see if I’d actually gotten any traffic lately, I hit the stat counter for my little corner of the interwebs this evening.  I was amazed to see that quite a few people visit even if I haven’t posted anything new, and I was laughing about some of the keyword searches that sent people here.  I thought I’d share some with you, and in the process give you some updates and something new to read.

What are hickory nut worms?

That, or some variation of it, is the biggest key word search that leads to my blog.  Scary isn’t it?  It’s because of a post I put up on (you guessed it) Hickory Nuts in September of 2007.  I did, however, find out after I posted that the worms found in Hickory nuts are wasp larvae.  So don’t feel bad about dumping them down the drain just to hear the *plink*

How to dry hickory nuts

Another one from the link above.  And here I thought I was one of a few who knew about the yummy goodness produced by the modest hickory tree.  Drying them is easy, spread them out on news papers or cardboard, and wait.  If the husks fall off, they’re dry, or if you’ve already removed the husks the shells will darken and become easier to crack.  Cracking them before they’re dry is not recommended, nor is eating them, give them some time to age to perfection!

When are hickory nuts ready to be eaten off of the tree?

Never!  Those shells are hard, you’ll break your teeth!

How to eliminate hickory nut worms

Wait for the wasps that produce them to go extinct.

What can you do with hickory nut husks?

If you’re talented you could try this:

But personally I’d just throw them away.

What to do about hickory nut worms

See above…  *plink*


OK, that’s all of the hickory nut searches, which seriously make up most of my keyword hits.  The next largest is a variety of keywords all of which lead to this picture:

Which reminds me that I haven’t updated you on that…

Tiana had her post-op appointment and it was discovered that yes indeed she did have a rod slip.  The rod hook at the top of her right rod slipped off the vertebrae it was hanging onto, and is now poking out in a slightly gruesome manner.  Tomorrow I’ll see if she’ll let me take a new picture now that it’s all healed up (she’s sleeping right now and she gets angry when I wake her up just to take photos).  The swelling is down, so the lump isn’t as large as it was, it’s a little sharper and ickier though, so it’s still not pretty to look at.  Personally, I just try not too.

Short story so far is that she doesn’t need that hook to stabilize her fusion.  It’s really only there to keep the top of the rod from looking like… well, like it currently does.  If they tried to fix it now, they would have to basically re-do her fusion, so they’re going to leave it until she’s completely healed (unless something untoward happens, and with our luck it will, so keep your fingers crossed for us.  OK?), and then they will go in through a tiny incision and just trim off the top portion of the rod that is no longer attached.  It’s the difference between another five hour surgery, or a thirty minute out-patient procedure.  Guess which one we’re going to take?

Tiana says it doesn’t hurt, so as far as she’s concerned no one even needs to look at it. Since looking at it gives me mini anxiety attacks, I’m more than willing to comply with her wishes.  So for the next two years her doctor is going to keep an eye on it (therefore alleviating me of that responsibility), and then hopefully we really will be done for good.

Popping your back and neck looks like…

See photo above, I don’t recommend it.

Fuck Cancer Bracelet

Is my next keyword, and I’m glad we’re all feeling the same about the subject.

The links from my previous post have changed.  You can now see some awesome pictures of beautiful pin-up models showing their support here:

Fuck Cancer Bracelet Pics

However, you won’t find a link to purchase there anymore. If you still want to purchase one, you can contact me by email at stormrose at sbcglobal.net (you know to put in the little @ sign and remove the spaces from that, right?  I get enough spam as it is) to get yours.  The job was getting too big for one person to manage, and so now John and I have our own stock to dole out. 

Tommy still continues to fight, but sadly my aunt has lost her battle.  I also have a few more loved ones joining in the war.  I want to see cancer become an extinct species before I die, I can’t even express how badly I desire it.  Until it is, John and I will continue to donate the proceeds from the bracelets to cancer research.


And last but not least…

Pictures of storm cellars or basements that are in good shape

Um…  Yea, not me.

Description of a storm cellar

A place where you store your junk, so that you’ll have no place to hide when the tornado blows though.


This blog

Yea, one of those two.

How to make a storm cellar

Dig a hole, or start a blog, depending on which of the above answers is correct.


Ok, this is the story…  My old IRC nickname was StormRose, way back when the internet was powered by hamsters on wheels.  Back then I started a stupid little website called (you guessed it) Storm’s Cellar as a play on the nickname.  It stuck. I like it.  Because, as mentioned above, storm cellars are, more often then not, a place to stash your junk, and that’s exactly what I do here.  I dump the junk that needs to get out of my head.

If however you are looking for a place to escape the tornado, my blog is probably not going to help you out much.  So grab a shovel and start digging.  Or you could hire someone.  That’s probably what I’d do.  Kick back with a Mike’s and watch them dig your hole for you.

I love work, I could watch it all day!