Fuck Cancer

I know my blog isn’t among the most popular. Most days I get about ten hits, and on the days when I post something new, I might get fifty if the post is particularly entertaining. For this post though, I’d like to ask everyone who may stumble across it, to read the whole thing, and if it strikes a chord, pass it along.

First off, I’d like to say that if the title of this post offends you, I’m sorry. I’d like to say that, but I just can’t. Most of the time I censor that word, turning it into F*** Cancer. Today though, I’m too tired and too upset to apologize for a bit of profanity that sums up situation perfectly. I’m also sure, since you are a rational thinking human being, that while you may be offended by the word, you can at least relate to the sentiment.

Earlier this year my friend Tom, from the Tommy D’s Nutz show, was diagnosed with paraganglioma. His symptoms were innocent enough, mimicking a hernia, and we joked with him because he’d been putting off going to a doctor. In one of those ironic twists that the universe so enjoys throwing out there, I joked that he needed to see a doctor because for all he knew he probably had cancer.

Yea… That one came back to bite me in the ass.

After his diagnosis, Tommy was looking at the Lance Armstrong “Live Strong” cancer bracelets and considering purchasing one. As he told us later though, it didn’t really express his feelings on the matter so he decided against buying one. John asked him what he would want a bracelet to say, and Tommy didn’t have to think about it for very long before he replied “Fuck Cancer.”

For Tom’s birthday John had twenty-five black silicone “Fuck Cancer” bracelets made. Tommy opened the package up on the air, and was extremely excited. We knew he’d love them, but what we didn’t know was how much everyone else would love them too. Tom sent a bracelet to each crew member of the show and passed the rest out to his friends and family, but the demand exceeded the supply. They didn’t last long, and people were still clamoring for more.

The idea was hatched to order more bracelets and sell them, having all of the proceeds go to charity. There were those among us who thought that Tom should be the charity. Do you know how expensive cancer treatments are? Tommy gave the idea a thumbs down though, and it was decided that the proceeds would go to cancer research charities. The first of which is the Susan G Komen foundation.

Being married to John, and a regular on Tom’s show, I was among the first to receive a bracelet. I’ve worn it proudly ever since and have yet to take it off. Sure there are situations where it’s not appropriate to have Fuck Cancer emblazoned on my wrist, but when those circumstances arise, I simply flip it inside out and it looks like a plain black band.

In the months that I’ve worn and promoted the bracelets, I’ve talked to a lot of people and heard many stories about cancer and the impact it has on individuals and families. I’ve looked closely at how my own life has been touched by cancer, and I’ve come to realize that there is not a single person alive today that hasn’t been affected by this killer. You’ve either battled it yourself, or have watched someone close to you fight for their life.

Tommy has now had more rounds of chemo than I’ve been able to keep track of. He’s had to miss many shows because he’s been so sick from the medicine that is attempting to save his life. Yet he jokes about it, plays chemo side effect bingo on the show, and keeps his spirits high (with a little help from his friends). Maybe it’s because laughing is so much better than crying.

Some days it makes me extremely sad, but most of the time, it just pisses me off. I wonder why this is still a deadly threat? Since I was a child this disease has been in the headlines. Miraculous advances have been made in medicine during my life; MRI Technology, Genome Mapping, Vaccines for Chicken Pox… Yet we’re still waiting on a cure, or even a truly effective treatment, for cancer. It’s maddening.

What is even more frustrating is when I come across cases where research money is being squandered. Today for instance, when I was looking for some information for this post, I found an article titled “Study Finds Genetic Link To Skin Cancer.” Did we not know this already? Isn’t this common sense? I have fair skin because of my Northern European ancestry, There have been others in my family with fair skin who have had skin cancer. I know, that because of my fair skin and previous cases of skin cancer in my family, I have a higher risk of skin cancer than, say, my Italian husband. I didn’t need a ten million dollar research project to tell me this.

So much time, money, and effort is being spent on telling us what increases our cancer risks. I can answer that pretty easily, and I don’t even have a college degree… Living significantly increases your risk of cancer! Now that we have that cleared up, let’s work on curing it.

Sound like a plan?

The most surprising thing for me through all of this was when I told my parents the story of the bracelets. I wasn’t going to tell them because of their age and religious beliefs, I didn’t think they’d appreciate the language. My mom had been giving me an update on my aunt who is suffering with breast cancer though, so I decided to take the plunge and share the story. They actually thought it was a great, and the next day I just about fell off of my chair when they called to order twenty bracelets.

People can surprise you. I’ve been surprised a lot while I’ve been working on the bracelet project. I was surprised when I heard that several moms had ordered child sized bracelets for their kids who are undergoing treatment (yes, we have them). I’m surprised by the human resilience I’ve seen in the survivors, the sufferers, and those who have lost loved ones. However, I’m mostly surprised by the overwhelming acceptance and support of the bracelet project, even from those who I thought most likely to condemn it because of the profanity.

I think it’s because we’re all just fed up, we’ve had enough, and we’re ready to have every oncologist currently employed find a new specialty. It’s time we stood together, and said Fuck Cancer!

Buy a bracelet, you know you want to! They’re only $4, and over half of the proceeds go to cancer research (the other portion is for manufacturing and shipping). Wear it proudly, wear it inside out, or tell us to keep the bracelet and donate the whole $4 to the cause.

Then, tell us who you’re saying Fuck Cancer for! Tell us your story in the comments here on my blog, on facebook, on the Tommy D’s Nutz forum, or in the notes section of your order.

I wear my bracelet for:

• Tommy D who continues to fight.
• My brother, Ken, who survived and is still flipping cancer off.
• Lori, who never had a chance to fight, and my sister who’s left with a hole in her heart where her best friend used to be.
• Big John, who's had to duke it out twice.
  
• My aunt Jeanne and her daughter Laurie who fought the battle together; one was lost, the other continues.
• Bob and his wife Diane who now must live without him.

In closing, I just want to say that my greatest hope is that some day soon I’ll meet a person who has never had cancer touch his or her life. Then soon after that, we can send the disease into the history books along with polio and small pox.

Let’s work to make that hope a reality.

Hugs,

Animal Updates

I’ve got a lot of different animal news and decided to cram it all into one post. Some of it’s happy, some is sad, some is painful and splattered with blood.

So go get a cup of coffee, or your favorite beverage, and settle in. :)

I’ll start out with the sad news and get it out of the way. Jenna’s sweet mouse Jerri passed away unexpectedly a little over a week ago. She was happily running on her wheel one night when we went to bed, and the next morning she was gone. We have no idea what happened.

Jenna was understandably upset, partly because it was so unexpected. With tiny pets like mice, gerbils, and hamsters, they often get sick or injured and pass on before you even know there’s a problem.

Dealing with death is part of being a pet owner, and a portion of my role in teaching my kids responsible pet ownership is showing them how to balance their grief with the joy and love they received from their animal.

So John and I consoled Jenna, packed Jerri’s body lovingly in a box, and Jenna picked a place in the yard to inter her remains.

After the initial shock and grief wore off, we asked Jenna what she would like to do. She decided that yes, she wanted another pet, but not another mouse since no one would be able to replace her baby Jerri. We did some researching, then took a trip to the pet store where Jenna decided to adopt a male teddy bear hamster.

His name is Sunny.

She’s had him for about a week now, and she’s been really good at taking him out every day and working to hand tame him. He’s a little skittish, but one of the girls at the pet store had a soft spot for him and had already worked with him quite a bit. So he’s not as bitey as you’d expect a young hamster to be. He nibbles on fingertips occasionally, just to see if you’ll react, but if you remain calm and undeterred he settles down pretty quickly.

Jenna is completely head over heels in love with him, and while she still misses Jerri, Sunny has helped take some of the sting out of her loss.

Speaking of hamsters, Bullet is still doing well, he’s fat and happy as long as you don’t try to pick him up.

Every once in awhile I let him out to roam the house in his hamster ball, which he likes, but he’s happiest in his tank. I would love to be able to pick him up and cuddle him, but it’s just not going to happen. He’s still a lot of fun to watch though! He often comes out during the day to play, and I’ll sit on the floor by his tank and talk to him while he scurries around. He’s not afraid to take treats from my hand, and will let me pet him in his tank and long as I let him keep his four on the floor.

This is the only new picture I have of Zathras…

It’s pretty terrible because John took it with his cell phone when I was staying with Tiana at the hospital in May. He sent it to me in the middle of the night to let me know my baby missed me.

Both Tiana and Jenna had been telling their classes about our hedgie, so as an end of the year treat I took him in so the girls could show him off.

He was surprisingly well behaved! I was a little worried about how well he’d do with all of the kids touching him, but he did an outstanding job! He let everyone give him a pet, and only put his quills up once when a shadow startled him. He got a little over stimulated with the kindergartners, and was looking for a dark place to hide. All in all he exhibited model behavior though, no huffing, no balling up, he was just a good boy and gave the kids a great experience.

I’m so proud of my baby boy!

That’s about it in mammalian news, now it’s on to the reptiles. All of you squeamish sorts can turn back now. :D

So onto the Boas!

I had them out for a photo session on a sunny day, but alas they did not turn out well. I’m going to have to figure out the trick for taking pictures of these guys. I know there’s a way to capture their sparkly rainbows, but I haven’t figured it out yet.

Here’s the best of the lot:

That’s Nena, the female, and I have a story to tell you about her!

I was writing up this story in my head last night as I was falling asleep, and I realized that I need to preface it with a disclaimer (and yes Melinda, I thought of this before you commented on my facebook status. lol).

Animals aren’t mean. Humans are sometimes mean, but not animals. Animals just do their thing, they have instincts and behaviors that are coded into their genetic makeup, which ensure their survival. Often you will hear people talk about a mean or aggressive dog, but the truth of the matter is a dog gets that way because of something a human did to them, or didn’t do for them. Aggressive dogs are typically fearful because at some point they were neglected or abused. They are never just mean for the hell of it.

Animals always act the way they do for a reason, and if we humans get hurt in the process of handling them it’s usually through some fault of our own. I mean think about it, how many times have you heard a narrator on Animal Planet say “and here we see the lion killing a gazelle because it’s an a**hole.” Never, right? It just doesn’t happen. Lions kill and eat gazelles in order to survive. If you own a lion, and it tries to eat you, no one is going to say the lion is evil, it’s just acting like a lion is supposed to act.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, I’m sure you know where this is going. lol

The boas are aggressive eaters. They strike, they strike fast, and they will strike at anything that moves when they’re in feeding mode. Feeding mode starts when I put them in the feeding bin. They have yet to strike, or bite, at me when I’m getting them out of their containers or handling them. They know as soon as their bellies hit the bin though, food is coming. Then the aggression pops to the surface.

I know they’re like this. I’ve fed them a few times, and dodged a couple of feeding strikes, so I know how they are when they want food. Does that make me any less of an idiot? No, it does not. LOL

For some reason my feeding tongs have disappeared. They get run through the dishwasher after each feeding session to disinfect them, and they usually end up on top of the microwave when they’re clean, but for some reason they were no where to be found last night. I have a backup pair, but they had migrated to the basement for some reason and John was off in search of them.

Well, I had already taken Nena out and put her in the feeding bin to be weighed when I realized that the tongs were MIA. She was getting restless, so I figured I’d just do what I’d done with the corns a few times and dangle the mouse by it’s tail for her.

Error in Judgment #1: Mistaking a Boa for a Corn Snake.

So I dangled the mouse above her head a couple of times and she went to grab it. I let go of the tail as soon as she smacked into the mouse, but she didn’t grab on, and the mouse fell to the bottom of the feeding container.

None of my snakes will eat a food item that’s just laying dead on the bottom of the container. so she retreated to the other side of the container and glowered at me.

Error in Judgment #2: Believing that I’m faster than a Boa

I thought, “Hey, I can just reach in there and get it, she’s on the other side and even if she does strike I’ve dodged her before.”

So I reached in only to learn that I am in fact NOT faster than a Peruvian Rainbow Boa. She tagged me, right on the knuckle of my left index finger.

My hand was moving faster than my brain and I realized she was on the move, but not that she’d bitten me, so I tried to dodge her.

Error in Judgment #3: Not taking my punishment like a man

When I pulled my hand back, she came with, tearing open the bite on my knuckle and landing on the floor outside of the feeding container when she finally let go. Now I had a pissed off boa loose on my floor. Lovely!

Error in Judgment #4: Thinking I could pick up one pissed off Boa and put her back in her container without paying the price.

I grabbed her before she could get away, saw her turn towards me with her jaw opened wide, and knew I had it coming. She bit me full out on my hand and I took it without flinching this time. Ok, maybe I flinched a bit when she started to chew, but I didn’t try and shake her off or dislodge her. If she hadn’t let go on her own in a timely manner I’d have taken her to the sink and doused her in cold water. That will usually do the trick.

She did let go though, after about a minute, and curled up on my palm like she was ashamed of what she’d done. I felt bad for her, it was totally and completely my fault. She was off her food for the night though, and no amount of coaxing would get her to strike again. I’ll try to feed her once more in a couple of days. Hopefully she’ll have forgotten the whole miserable incident by then.

Ready for my battle wounds?

I have a bruise there today. I think she might have left a tooth inside me, but I can’t find it no matter how much I dig.

Top side of the knuckle wound.

And lastly, the chew mark which looks the worst but really didn’t hurt that bad.

I have 6 small holes from her top jaw, and 4 from her bottom.

Hopefully I’ve learned a valuable lesson that I won’t soon forget! lol

Last, but not least… This is now, officially, my first year as a corn snake breeder! I’m pretty nervous but so far the snakes have done well in spite of me. I actually wasn’t going to breed this year, I didn’t feel like I was ready yet, and I didn’t know if the females would be up to size, and I wanted to do some more research… Are you getting the feeling that I was never going to be ready? lol

Kauket took the decision away from me though. She started getting cranky, and then refused a meal (which she NEVER does). So I talked to Chad and he told me how to check her for egg follicles. Sure enough, my baby girl had become a woman. Then Amaunet got in on the act, and decided that if little sister was old enough to get a man, so was she. I told them that as long as they were willing to share, we could work something out.

Yea I know… EWWWWW

Kek is still too small to breed, though he should be up to size next year.

Isn’t he pretty though? That picture does not do his color justice! he’s all pinks and lavenders. I think when Chad saw him he was a little jealous that he gave him away! :D

Here’s him just hanging out (Get it? Hanging out?!?! I kill me!).

So he was out of the gene pool this year for breeding, though I know that he and Kauket are going to make gorgeous babies. So Chad loaned me a male that he wasn’t using for breeding this year.

Chad doesn’t name his snakes, so we’ve dubbed him StudMuffin. I told Chad that from here on out he must refer to him as StudMuffin, and only StudMuffin.

Yes, I know. I need psychological help! John and the kids tell me that on a regular basis.

So Muffin was willing and eager to get started. He was a newbie though, so he had a couple of false starts. After about an hour or more of him chasing Kauket around the tank he finally figured which end was up and got the job done.

This is a still from a video I took for Chad, hence the quality. It shows the moment of lockdown. I would have taken a real picture, but with it being their first time and all I didn’t want to completely freak them out.

Now I know that some of the normals who read my blog probably think this is a little weird. I’m sure it smacks of parents observing the bride and groom on their wedding night. Trust me when I tell you that corn porn is all the rage on the forums where I hang out. Yes, I fully admit that we’re a “special” bunch of people, but that doesn’t mean we’re gross or anything. I promise to make the one explicit picture I have to show you small, that way only the most curious among you will be able to see anything when you click on the pic. lol

Here are the two lovesnakes cuddling in the afterglow. Aren’t they pretty together?

Now, Chad can correct me if I’m wrong here, but I believe that Kauket is a motley, het hypo, possible het lavender. Muffin is a hypo, possible het lavender and possible het motley. If they both prove out we should get:

• 37.5% Hypo Hatchlings
• 37.5% Hypo Motley Hatchlings
• 12.5% Hypo Lavender Hatchlings
• 12.5% Hypo Lavender Motley Hatchlings

That last one is the trifecta. That’s what we’re shooting for!

After Muffin had a day or two of rest, we popped him in with Amaunet. He’d had some practice this time around, and it didn’t take him nearly as long to figure out what he was doing.

Here’s the explicit picture below. Don’t click on it unless you REALLY want to see what it looks like when snakes do their thing. You’ve been warned, don’t say I didn’t tell you!

Now this pairing is just going to give us normal corn snakes (what a corn snake would look like if you came across it in the wild), unless of course Amaunet has some hidden genes we’re not aware of. Normals aren’t too sought out among the breeding community (though these ones will have a ton of hidden hets), but they’re still very pretty snakes, with all of the personality of a captive bred corn, and are great for first time owners and/or people who don’t care about all of the fancy colors and patterns. Most of the pet stores in my area don’t sell normals and only have more expensive morphs available. So I’ll be selling the babies from this pairing to the local stores for credit, and they’ll be able to offer some cheaper alternatives in their reptile departments.

Now even though their babies won’t be higher end morphs, don’t those two look pretty together? I love the contrast of the two of them… So beautiful!

Anyway… Chad’s boy did his thing and now my girls are very preggers (or gravid for my snake friends). Both of them are starting to cloud up with their pre-lay shed, and we should expect eggs about 12 days after that.

Once the eggs are laid, the girls job will be done and mine will start. They have to be incubated at a certain temperature and humidity for about 60 days. Then they will start to pip and we’ll see little snakey noses pushing through the shells. I’ll be sure to keep you updated with pics as we go along!

Have a great day!

All Brawn, No Brains

**Warning – This post contains pictures of snakes eating mice.  If that bothers you, turn back now!  You’ll be missing out on a very funny story, but your wussy stomach will thank you.  Also, please never watch any Animal Planet programming about Lions, when they hunt Gazelles it’s sure to squick you out in a major way!**

Still with me?  Cool!

 

So I fed the Boas for the first time last night.  I’ve never fed a boa, or anything other than a corn snake for that matter, so I was kind of looking forward to it.

I figured it would be best to start them off with a small meal since they’re still settling in from their trip.  I picked out two of the smallest fuzzies in my freezer, got out the step stool and put them up on the highest shelf in my house to thaw before feeding.

Why the step stool you ask?  Well, that’s a story in and of itself!

A couple of years ago I put a plate containing two mice on the table to thaw for Kauket and Kebechet.  When I went to go feed them a little while later, I saw the plate but the mice were gone.  “That’s funny,” I said to John, “I was sure I took some mice out.  I must be losing my mind.”

Confident that I was suffering from early onset Alzheimer's, I went and got two more mice, and once again put the plate on the table to thaw.  This time however I sat on the couch, to watch a little television while waiting, in sight of the table.

About fifteen minutes later, what do I see out of the corner of my eye?  A grey ball of fur sneaking up on the table (where he knows he’s not allowed I might add), and stealing one of the mice.  Before my poor tired brain could comprehend what was happening, my cat had run away with his booty and was happily snacking away on it in the corner of the dining room.

Can you say EEEEWWW?

Since then I’ve been more careful about where I place my defrosting mice.  However, instead of deterring MacDuff, it’s become a challenge.  How high can he jump?  How fast can he move when I see him?  About two weeks ago he managed to get away with one of the large mice I feed Amaunet.  He ran gleefully through the house with it clutched in his mouth, me and the girls in hot pursuit screaming and yelling for him to drop it.

Once again, just let me say…  BLECH!  Dead mouse is bad enough, dead, torn-up mouse with cat spit on it really ruins my day.

 

So, once the mice had successfully defrosted, with no cat related incidents, I took the female (who shall from here on out be referred to as Nena, the Aztec Snake Goddess) out to eat.  I have to say, feeding her was no different than feeding my lazy corn snakes.  She slithered up to it, gave it a sniff, and then gently took it in her mouth and started eating.

Wait, isn’t she supposed to be a boa CONSTRICTOR?  Where exactly was the constriction?  Apparently Nena is to dainty to be bothered.

OK, well that was a bit anti-climatic. 

Now it’s the male’s turn (who shall henceforth be known as Nata, the Aztec snake god). He did not disappoint.  He wrapped it up tight in his coils… and then…

Sits there…

Looking at it…

Sits some more…

Looks some more…

About fifteen minutes later he opens his mouth, he’s going to finally eat it… 

Nope, he bit himself instead.

Sits some more…

Looks some more…

A little while later he starts moving around, smelling and nosing, looking for the mouse…

And he bites himself again.

After about 30 minutes of him trying to eat his own coils I took pity on him and tried to help.  I thought that maybe if I moved the mouse a little he’d be able to figure out where it was wrapped up in his coils.

Have you ever tried to take away a food item from a boa?  A little tip for you.  They don’t let go.  In fact, if anything, they hold on tighter.

Ok, so that’s not going to work.  I put him, and his squished mouse, back into the feeding container.

Oh no, now you’ve gone and tied your tail in a knot.  NO!  DON’T EAT IT!  Your body is not FOOD!

After about forty five minutes, and at least fifteen bites to his own body, he finally found the mouse and devoured it.

He sure is a pretty boy, but like most of the pretty guys I’ve met there’s not a lot going on upstairs.  He’s all brawn and no brains I guess.

It’s ok, I’ll keep him anyway.  :D

Hugs,

What’s this?

Bright and early this morning, FedEx was at my door with a small box for me…

Hmmm… whatever could it be?

Are those four tiny eyes looking at me?

I’ve known for awhile that I wanted to keep something other than the corns snakes. I fell in love with Rainbow Boas the first time I saw a picture of one, but any time I saw one up for sale I had to admit that they were just too darn expensive for me.

Until earlier this week when I stumbled across an ad on Fauna listing a pair of them for less than I’ve ever seen a single one sold for. These were the last of the breeder’s ‘08’s, and they were priced to move!

So they got here this morning, a little chilly but still looking very perky and beautiful!

Here’s the female when I first took her out of her deli cup. She was being shy and hiding her head from me.

There’s a peek at the face. Once she warmed up she started sniffing around and checking me out. Be sure to click on those pics for the full sized photos so you can see why they’re called Rainbow Boas.

Once she got into her new vivarium she took a nice long drink and then curled up in her warm hide box.

The male was last out of the box, and right away he appeared to be more outgoing.

He immediately started crawling up my arm, smelling the room, and posing pretty for the camera.

Is he a ham or what?

I have to tell you, the pictures do not do these guys justice. They are so shiny, and the light refracts off them in a beautiful iridescent rainbow. They’re also smooth as silk. I can’t wait to get them settled in so I can start handling them regularly. I can tell they’re going to be a lot of fun to take care of.

I swear, this is it for the new acquisitions for awhile! lol Kauket is developing egg follicles, and since she’s big enough, Chad is loaning me a male that he didn’t use for breeding this year to see if she wants to be a mommy. If she lays a clutch, I’ll be too busy taking care of them to want anything new for several months. :D

Hugs,

Bullet Time

Earlier this week it was my birthday.  No, I’m not telling you how old I am.  :Þ

John and the kids got me some fun presents.  One of them was a wii fit, which promptly told me I was fat.  *sigh*  I knew I should have waited until after my b-day to step on the dang thing.  My favorite present by far though was Bullet, a Roborovski Hamster.

Yes, I have another animal: no, I don’t need to apply for a zoo permit yet.

No need to adjust your monitor, he really is that cute.  He’s about the size of a large cotton ball, and he won’t get much bigger than that.  He’s also really, really fast, hence the name Bullet.  Tiana picked out the name, and we all agreed that it fit him perfectly.  He’s so fast that when he runs on his wheel he appears to hover because his legs move faster than the eye can see.

He’s mostly a watching pet, and not a snuggling pet.  Because he’s so tiny, and so very fast, if he gets away from you you’ll never catch him again.  He’s also really wriggly when you pick him up, so dropping him is almost a given.  He is a lot of fun to watch though, and he will let us pet him, which is just about as good as holding him.

MacDuff thinks we brought him home a little nom, and wonders when we’re going to let him out so he can eat him.  Bullet, for his part, has already figured out that Duff can’t get him through the glass, and has started in on the taunting.  He likes to run around his tank while the cat is watching him.  This, of course, sends Duff in to a frenzy as he tries to figure out how to put his paw through the glass of the tank to get the yummy morsel.

Does anyone really wonder why I have so many animals?  They give me hours of joy and amusement as I watch them tease each other.  :D

Here he is curled up and sleeping in his little house.  Isn’t he just the cutest ball of fluff ever?

Today I brought in some dandelions, from the crop we have growing out in our yard, and gave all of the rodents a treat.  Bullet really enjoyed the noms.

I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes that were left on my facebook page and at the CD forums.  It was sweet of y’all to remember me!

Hugs,

Iowa Part 2

I really didn’t mean to make you wait this long for the second installment of our Iowa trip. Let’s just say it’s been a pretty crummy week and you wouldn’t have wanted to hear from me before now anyway. :)

So, here’s the back story…

Alexi has always been pretty firm that she didn’t want to do any serious dating in High School. The girl has goals and a clear plan of what she needs to do to complete them. She wants to be a surgeon, and she knows she’s going to be in school for quite awhile longer, so why make it more difficult than it needs to be?

She hangs out with a large group of friends comprised of both guys and girls, and she’s watched her friends do the dating thing. We talk about it a lot, and to be honest (no offense kids) the High School dating thing is pretty silly, full of a lot of drama and very little reward. So watching the tableau has pretty much cemented Alexi’s decision not to date seriously for awhile.

Then in walks friend Paul…

Paul and Alexi hung out in the same group for a year or two, they were good friends and that was about the extent of it until last spring when they both realized at about the same time that there was something more than friendship going on there. The only problem with the whole thing was that at the end of the year Paul was moving to Iowa.

Well now doesn’t that put a crimp in the whole love story?

So they decided to continue to be just friends, keeping in touch with each other using the phone and internet as best they could. Frankly, everyone observing figured that, like most kids who move away from each other at that age, the friendship would just fade away. The funny thing is though, it didn’t. Instead it seemed to grow stronger.

You would have thought I’d have learned by now not to expect my kid to act normal.

A year passes, Paul is a senior in high school, Alexi’s a junior, and they still talk almost every day. They decided to drop the whole friendship façade awhile back, and now will officially tell you that they are indeed dating. Paul’s senior prom is coming up, and there’s a little bit of drama associated with it. Not a lot, but enough to make it clear that Alexi’s not entirely happy with the situation. So John asks her, “Do you want to go? Does he want you to go?”

The answer was a resounding YES across the board.

So the next thing you know we’re in the car making the long trip to Iowa... I’m going to stop here because at this point in the telling I can usually see that whomever I’m talking to thinks we’re off our rockers insane. We’re not, well not completely anyway. I’ll admit to not having a complete set of marbles, but there is a reason behind this particular insanity.

Alexi is a good kid, and I’m not talking the mother speak here. You know the code: Jane’s a good kid, I just wish she’d get better grades. Or: Joe’s a good kid, I just wish he’d call me when he’s going to be late. No, in this case Alexi is a good kid, end of sentence.

Permit me to brag for a moment. Since the fourth grade Alexi has been on the honor roll every quarter without fail, and most quarters she scores well enough to be on the high honor roll. During her sophomore year she was inducted into the National Honor Society, and this year she was approved for the National Merit Scholarship. She was the only one in her class to qualify for the last.

Alexi is very open and honest with me about what’s going on in her life, and what she’s thinking and feeling. She frequently discusses problems with me and (surprise) actually listens to, and respects, the advice I give her. She doesn’t hide stuff from me because she understands that losing my trust would hurt us both. She’s responsible in that when she tells me she’s going somewhere and/or doing something she does just that. If her plans change she calls and lets me know; even though many times she could have let it go and I would have been none the wiser.

Alexi is a trust worthy, responsible young lady. End of story.

Well, not quite the end because we’re in the car heading to Iowa. John and I decided that a weekend trip to reward her for her constant good behavior, which would also serve as a birthday present, would go a long way towards showing her how much we love her and also that we respect and understand her feelings.

So she went to the prom with the guy who calls her his sunshine, and from here I’ll just let the pictures speak for themselves…

Hugs,